Hot Spiced Tea: Comfort and Soothe Little Sore Throats

Whenever my kids started showing signs of cold/flu/sore throats, I would make this. Over the years I've experimented, adding orange slices, apple slices, cranberries, lemon slices. The ingredients help in the healing process.

HOT SPICED TEA

2 cans frozen Orange Juice concentrate

1 can Lemonade concentrate

two to four tea bags (I use green tea or Echinacea or both)

whole cloves

cinnamon sticks

honey

 

Open one can of concentrate and pour contents into a bowl or container to save until after measuring water. Place 9 containers full of water into the pan. (Or use amount of water directed according to the package information for each OJ and Lemonade. I often add about a 1/2 can extra.) Boil the water then add cinnamon sticks and cloves. (I usually use quite a bit of each. You develop a taste for how much is preferred.) Also add the tea bags and let steep for ten minutes. Remove tea bags. Add the Orange Juices and Lemonade concentrates and DO NOT BOIL, but heat, stirring once in awhile. Add honey to taste. If sore throats accompany the sickness, I add extra honey and extra cinnamon.

 

When I was in college, I had landed one of the main character roles (Hodel) in the production of Fiddler On the Roof. And the night of the first performance, I developed laryngitis. Completely lost my voice the morning of the show. One of the other actor's wives came to the rescue with her version of this cocktail and by evening, I had enough voice that I managed to be heard. The audience thought I was raspy because of the emotion of the song I sang. Little did they know I was sooooo ill. This became my "go to" medicine and has been a simple, yet powerful remedy for not only myself, but my children. During the winter months, the smell alone brings the comfortable security and warmth of "being home". Even now, when I'm missing my boys, I make a batch and smile. Remembering how much love went into the making. And how that love continues now. Hopefully they can taste it and be reminded when they rely now on their own version(s) of this miracle tea.

 



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JNTNU7etW8

A Baby's Heartbeat Inside a Mother's Heart

That first time you hear the heartbeat of your child....
Nothing can quite describe.

I was young, single, very poor, when I heard my first child's heartbeat. I had tried hiding my pregnancy from everyone, including myself. I lived the first five months in complete denial that this was happening to me. I wish I had those months to do over. But I was an overwhelmed child getting ready to have a child and not having a guide book or road map in place to help me see through it all. I remember finally confronting my demons in my little college dorm room looking at my mom's face, in her eyes as I confessed I thought I was pregnant. There are a few moments when time seemed to stop and everything happened really fast and really slow all at the same time. Holding my breath while I waited for her response was one of those moments. I should have known my own mother always simply embraced me, embraced the situation. Fear of her reaction should never have been an added worry in my mind.

She was with me when I first heard my son's heartbeat. Loud and strong and seemingly needing to be heard. One tear after another dripped down my face as I surrendered to "what is" and felt the deep stirrings of my mother's heart inside that sound --- inside my baby's thump, thump pulsing rhythm that shouted, "I'm alive!!! I'm here!!! I'm powerful!!!"

His birth was rough. Lots of complications and a very long 42 hour delivery. And in those hours I went from being a young teen-aged girl to being a woman; the woman in charge of caring for, tending to, nurturing and sacrificing for my son.

Over the years he became one of my best friends. Laughing and giggling in rain storms while we both got drenched while pouncing and bouncing through puddles and water that was gushing along the side of the streets. Wrestling and scaring each other behind doors. Tickle torture. Inventing little hiding spaces in cupboards, in the bottom drawer of a cold stove (complete with blankets and pillows and a doll), in a tent made from a blanket thrown over a clothesline in the back yard. Riding bikes together. Exploring nature and finding animals, birds, sticks and rocks and tadpoles and bugs. Catching fireflies. Snow forts, snow angels, snow sledding, snowball fights, snowflakes on tongues and eyelashes.

Such examples of childhood and motherhood are the pieces and parts that rise above everything else that follows, the let downs, the disappointments, the frustrations, the misunderstandings. They wash away the hurt and tap us on the shoulder asking us to take a glance backwards and remember and be grateful.

Since my first child, I've been blessed with many more, my own three boys, my granddaughter, my new little grandson (to make an appearance in October) and many others who I consider my own, kids who have entered my life and blessed me more than they can ever know.

This song is one I wrote and used to sing to my boys while rocking them or getting them ready for bed. I uncovered just the tip of the iceberg in the gratitude department within its melody and lyrics. I hope on some level that gratefulness will nudge them on the shoulder, whisper in their ears, sometimes when they least expect it, even long after I'm gone.

Have I mentioned "cherish your kids"?
Enjoy the time with them you have been given, no matter how long or short that may be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxKBw1HA-jM

Blanket Forts, Baskets and Babies

My son and daughter-in-law recently let me know that I'm going to be a grandma to a little baby boy. Since then, memories have flooded my mind, remembering the love I've had for raising three boys.

The Three B's
1) BLANKET FORTS

 

I have always believed one of the best things you can gift a child is with the ability to find comfort, healing and security even when the world outside comes crashing down on them throughout their lives. I know this activity "blanket fort" is a no-brainer and almost every kid in America knows what it is and how to build one. But I look back on my boys lives and know that some of the little things we did together, whether they see it or not, established a sense of knowing everything is going to work out. I made it my mission to make a home rather than a house, make a life that was filled with lessons and experiments and explorations, make a refuge within the walls - a refuge buried deep inside souls, whether I'm present or not. I knew with my own childhood circumstances and later with my adult circumstances they needed a strong foundation that could sustain them when "life gets tough" (from Unstoppable, Unbreakable Hearts). Inside the soft, organic walls, old blankets and sheets held together on chairs or stools with clothes pins and safety pins, the rest of the world became silent, ineffective, unable to touch the ones who giggled, snuggled and read stories, made shadow puppets, wrestled, tickled or slept inside. A home inside a home. A safety net that shut out anything unwanted. 

  Exodus 26:31-34 "You shall make a veil of blue and purple and scarlet material and fine twisted linen; it shall be made with cherubim, the work of a skillful workman. You shall hang it on four pillars of acacia overlaid with gold, their hooks also being of gold, on four sockets of silver. You shall hang up the veil under the clasps, and shall bring in the ark of the testimony there within the veil; and the veil shall serve for you as a partition between the holy place and the holy of holies."

My prayer as they played was that through me, through the magic of blankets and pillows, they could connect with that holy place inside that would constantly be a guide and a force that could never be touched. A holy place within....

 

2) BASKETS



 

All things old and ordinary. A child's playground. A child's joy.
Next time you stop to scream at, raise your voice to or condemn a child for finding something unusual in the usual, please ask yourself how worth it it truly is. An old basket, a cardboard box, things that are messy, things that get broken, things that get torn and worn --- all can be replaced. All are JUST THINGS. The memories made from letting a kid be a kid are priceless. And while they sleep in baskets, or pick your favorite flowers out of your flower garden, or leave mud prints across the floor in their hurry inside, know those moments escape and fly away in the blink of an eye. Rather than criticize, cherish.

3) BABIES (even for little boys)

 

Even sons can have crazy feelings for baby dolls of all shapes, sizes and conditions. My sons grew up in a place and a time when boys were expected to play with footballs, trucks and anything masculine. But my youngest, the one soon to be a daddy, went through a time when babies were all that mattered. And he loved and nurtured and cared for them, held them, sang to them, kissed them. All the while, I was shown and knew without a shadow of a doubt he would one day be such a good dad.

 

The best parts of yourself you can give to any child is the same as what you can give to one another:

acceptance, love, appreciation, comfort, security, warmth, shelter, guidance by example, allowance to make choices, an ability to rise after a fall, patience, understanding and space to make decisions, find answers, seek out truth, test waters, figure out where and how to travel through this life.

 

As I wait for my grand little boy, I feel gratitude for where I've been, where I'm heading.

 

"A boy is TRUTH with dirt on his face,

BEAUTY with a cut on his finger

and the HOPE of the future with a frog in his pocket." ~unknown

Sand Paper Paintings

SAND PAPER PAINTINGS

 

Needed: sand paper sheets (any color)

wax crayons

oven

 

Heavily color a picture on sand paper. It works best if the entire area is covered. Bake for 30 seconds to a minute at 350 degrees. This process can be a bit smoky so if possible, use the vent above your stove and open doors and windows.  :) Take them out with hot pads and let cool for a few seconds.

The result is a picture with softened edges, deeper color and it is "set" so it's harder to smudge.

 

Mount on colored construction paper for a nice effect.

 

I used this with my boys with old crayons that had been used, broken and paper peeled. I've also found that fluorescent colors have more of a "pop" with the finished art work.

 



A Person Can Never Have Enough DoUgH

HoMeMaDe PlAyDoUgH rEcIpE

 

1 c. flour

1/2 c. salt

1 c. water

1 tsp. vegetable oil

2 tsp. cream of tarter

food coloring (color of your choice)

ziplock baggies for storage

 

Cook all of the above ingredients for three minutes in a saucepan, constantly stirring, until a ball forms. Drop onto waxed paper and let cool. Knead. Poke. Pull. Twist. MaKe ThInGs. Place in a ziplock baggie to store, keeping refrigerated.

 

 

I have used this recipe so often and just reading and typing the ingredients brings back so many memories of watching my children and grandchild creatively let their hands and minds feel what life is all about. We're designed to enjoy life with all of our senses. Foster that in your children, but maybe more importantly, foster it inside of yourself. Take time to still be a kid. We get so caught up in trying to make ends meet, trying to make other people happy, trying to fit in, find our way, measure up.... we forget to just be free. Play more often and take your children with you when you go. Engage in the activities with them instead of being on the sidelines absorbed in distractions that keep you from really connecting and staying connected. Those opportunities don't last very long and too often become scarce to find. Dip your fingers into this dough instead of worrying about making more dough and spending it on things that don't last. Play, play and play some more!!!

 



Creating Discipline

I think some of the best advice I ever received as a mother was from a woman who told me discipline worked best for her kids when she "mixed it up". She found that the element of surprise was way more effective than her acting in a predictable, patterned manner. She was always sitting her kids in time out, which proved highly ineffective after the first few times. She had the "light bulb moment" that if she could be more creative about her parenting, maybe the results would be more to her liking. I took her advice to heart and started asking myself to think outside of the box.

During one stage of my boys' lives, they had developed a habit of putting each other down. Not just once in awhile, it seemed like it was going on all the time. I came up with the idea that for every "put down" they made, they would adopt the responsibility of thinking of TEN GOOD COMPLIMENTS to give. I'll never forget the giggles the first time I explained what the punishment was. About the third time trying to use this approach, I was hearing the same exact ten things over again, "You have nice hair." "You hit the baseball good." From that point on, any time I used this technique, the condition was that you couldn't re-use the same statements you had used previously. The giggles that ensued washed away a lot of the childish hurt inflicted.

I started borrowing ideas from other sources. Watching other people. Listening with the intent to learn.

Another effective-for-us method I came across was to assign a jar to each child. At the beginning of the week, the jar would be filled with a certain number of quarters. Each time a rule was broken or discipline was needed, a quarter would be taken away. At the end of the week, whatever quarters were left were theirs to keep.

And the last one I'll share is taken from my mother. She used this technique in her classroom as a teacher. She cut a circle or two out of colored construction paper and taped it to the wall. If a child was unruly and didn't respond after the first warning, she would have them stand next to the wall with their finger in the circle. (It is placed a bit above the child's head so they have to stand with their hand raised.) She would designate a time frame (one minute, two, etc.). This worked so well in my home because at that time there were knotty pine boards throughout the whole house, and the knots worked beautifully (Nature's own circles). Again, there was usually a lot of laughter involved, but the point was made because try this, after a few minutes, your arm gets tired and it's not comfortable to hold this position for very long.

Looking back I think of the times in my life when I was "punished" by someone... whether a parent or someone else who may or may not have known they were punishing by word, deeds or actions. Usually there is such a negative connection with that word. I feel if we attach something positive, something that has a subtle way of directing and re-directing into better behavior that uplifts themselves and others, children (and all of us) would have a new outlook and better self esteem and punishment would truly support the word "discipline" which means simply "to train". And the most successful people are those who have adopted a good self discipline ethic and code. They don't see it as negative or harsh, they see it as something that helps benefit their lives (ex: athletes, musicians, dancers).

Not only did these techniques help empower me to help guide my kids, they helped me find a joy in the side of parenting that seemed most daunting.

Think about it. If a child knows exactly what you're going to do, if they know exactly how you are going to react, they stay where they are comfortable. They get caught in a cycle of behavior (usually seeking out attention even if it's getting mom or dad to yell at them). You get caught in a cycle of behavior. And patterns develop and set in. I challenge that we should all teach each other and teach ourselves to stretch and grow and "color outside the lines", think of new ways to see things, to react to things, to discover things.

Happiness in a Rainbow

 

 

Living on a farm most of my life and all the time while my children were born and raised, rainbows were always so exciting to find. You learn to begin searching for rainbows by the way the sky looks, the air feels and smells, in the way the rain drops fall and the clouds move and the sunshine breaks through. A sixth sense develops and you might be busy doing another activity but you somehow know to look outside the window or to look up from whatever you're doing and catch the colors. There's a child-like "awe" that remains. My mother, grandmothers and aunt always told me that rainbows represent promises and hope. As a mother and grandmother, I've always tried to quietly instill that same concept, "never give up, keep trying your best, there will be a better day, something wonderful is waiting just around the corner." I hope my boys remember every time they see the bow arched in the sky not only spotting them with me, but the messages they bring.

 

RAINBOW BUBBLES

small mixing container

spoon

2Tbsp. sugar

1/2 c. water

2 Tbsp. liquid Joy dishwashing soap

 

Mix sugar and water together in the container. Stir until all the sugar dissolves. Add liquid Joy and stir gently to mix. Use pre-purchased bubble wands or make your own. We experimented with metal hangers (re-shaped into a circle), ropes, and strings.

 

RAINBOW SAND

jar with a lid

ziplock baggies

1/2 c. salt

1/4 teaspoon dry tempera paint

 

Place salt in a ziplock bag, using one bag for each color. Add one color of tempera paint, zip and shake until the color is mixed in. Once mixed, layer the salts, alternating colors, in a jar. Use a toothpick, pencil, craft stick, etc, to create designs along the edges of the jar. Secure lid.

 

GRANDMA VONDENE'S ("Vonnie's") RAINBOW JELLO

Ingredients: 1 c. boiling water per color of jello

Jello gelatin flavors in 3 oz. packages (in order of layers):

strawberry

orange

lemon

lime

blueberry

grape

sour cream

Cool Whip

9x13" glass pan

cooking spray

 

Lightly spray the bottom of a 9x13" pan with cooking spray. Set aside. Boil enough water for each flavor of jello and you'll separate it out per color. In a small mixing bowl, add strawberry flavored jello gelatin and one cup boiling water. Mix until smooth. Pour half of the mixture into the 9x13" pan. Place in refrigerator for 10-15 minutes until mostly firm. In the other half, add two large tablespoons of sour cream and stir until smooth. When first layer is set, add sour cream mixture on top and let set until firm. Do the same for each layer going in order of the colors of the rainbow (ROYGBIV, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet). Refrigerate until firm. Cut into squares when serving. Grandma always served this jello with a layer of Cool Whip on top and called it "the clouds".

She frequently told me about her travels to the Hawaiian Islands and once I was older, I followed in her footsteps and fell in love with the place she lovingly "talked story" about; Maui. There I learned that the natives uphold a belief that rainbows are bridges from the earth world into the spirit world and hold significant meaning and honor in their culture. One of the simple things in life I cherish most is the happiness found in a rainbow. 



 



 

Ice Cream in a Can

One of the things I enjoyed making with my boys was Ice Cream in a Can, a large coffee can. I'm not sure they are available anymore, but I'm certain other options can be found.

Needed items:

• Large can with lid (a large 3 lb. coffee can with plastic lid works best)
• Small baby food jars, cleaned and with lids
• Gloves
• Duct Tape
• Eggs
• Sugar
• Vanilla
• 1 Carton of Half 'n Half
• 1 Can of Milnot Evaporated Milk
• Milk
• Rock Salt/Ice Cream Salt
• Ice, crushed enough to fit well and pack around baby food jars inside large can

Mix together: 4 eggs (beat well), 2 1/2 c. sugar, 1 Tbsp. vanilla, 1 carton of Half 'n Half, 1 can of Milnot, then add enough milk to make a gallon of the ice cream mixture.

Place in small baby food jars, 3/4 full. Layer ice, salt and filled baby food jars inside the tin can. Place lid on can, securing it all the way around with Duct tape. Have people (preferably children!) sit a little ways apart from one another on the floor and begin rolling the can back and forth. It tends to get rather cold, so gloves might be needed/preferred. The rolling (freezing) process normally takes around ten minutes.

Let the giggling begin!

Leaving My Legacy

 

Each mother/grandmother figures out the art of being mom/grandmother in her own way, influenced by her own relatives, by everything external. But something also comes from inside, an invisible knowing and guide that teaches her how to add her own flavor and style in what she brings into her children's lives. I've wanted to write down big and little pieces of what I remember during those years raising my sons, and those things I share with my granddaughter (and future grandchildren). In this blog I'm going to be supporting the theme of my children's book "Unstoppable, Unbreakable Hearts". I'll share recipes, stories, creative parenting solutions, common frustrations, things I've found along the way.

Too often, as moms, we find fault and put ourselves down for not doing enough, not being enough, not trying harder, etc. I did that for years, especially after my oldest son made the choice to separate himself from me in his need to live life according to his own truth. Something I've had a hard time wrapping my brain around, but something I admire in him. He's standing in his own belief system, strongly as a man, doing his best. I commend him and respect him, even though I hope someday life spins itself around us both and brings us back together so we can build more memories and more laughter.

After year upon year of finding fault, of feeling "failure", I realized something. I was a good mom. In fact, out of all the people I know in this world, I would label very VERY few women "bad" mothers. Sure, we fall, we falter, we doubt, we trip up, we yell when we should keep quiet, we stay awake when we should sleep, we make mistakes along the way, but we're all valiant in our efforts. So this blog also commends who we are 24/7. Human. Frail. Yet strong and able to overcome time after time, not only things out of our control, but our own self criticisms. I hope you enjoy the journey with me. And find some little red threads that tie all our hearts together and make us realize we each impact one another's children. We make this life better or worse for one another. We hold each other's hearts.

 

While bouncing child on your knee, first verse slowly and rhythmically, second verse quickly and bouncy:

 

 

"This is the way the lady rides...

Slo-ooo-ooow and steady,

Slo-ooo-ooow and steady.

 

This is the way the doctor rides....

Rough and ready,

Rough and ready!!!"

~learned from Grandma Jean